“It’s Complicated:” What it’s Like for My Husband to be Married to a Fangirl

This morning my husband was berated with texts messages from me as he rode the bus to work.  Most of them were spewing names of people from Star Trek and B movies that I love and they all ended with a million exclamation points.  This is because Denver Comic Con is in a month and they are having a Next Generation reunion, emceed by William Shatner.

It’s not just Star Trek either.  There’s going to be a lot of awesome people that I totally admire that will be there.  This is basically torture for me because we will not be able to go this year.  As adults, we have responsibilities blah blah blah.  If I had the choice, I’d be going to several of these every year all over the world.  Dressed up.

Geek culture has been my world for my entire life.  I’m actually a little surprised I married a real person.

Eventually though, there came a time where I crossed over from the purely “fan” side to the “creator” side.  I love creating my own geek world.  This is what this year is all about.  Creation of art.  Hopefully, if I’m lucky enough, people will like my stuff, and be inspired by it like I am by others.

But right now, this post is about a boy and his fangirl.  People like lists, right?  I see Buzzfeed has every list ever.  So what’s one more?  This list is how I imagine life is for my husband living with me:

1.  Watching me play video games.  This initially started when I first started playing.  I didn’t really know how, so my husband taught me.  Then I made him stay with me during the scary games.  Now, I have no idea why.  Also, he doesn’t understand why I won’t start a new game before finishing a preceding one in the series, even if the stories are unrelated.

2. Lusting after everything.  I’m not even exaggerating.  My husband watches me fall in love with fictional characters all the time.  What’s worse, my taste in fictional men is unhealthy (I like dark, distant, cold, bad guys).  I’m a staunch feminist, but when it comes to my fictional love, I’m appalled at myself, and quite embarrassed.  The exception is the Doctor.  And Zach knows I’m always ready to run away in the TARDIS.

3.  Spending extra money on books and toys.  Remember when I said we were adults with responsibilities?  Well, this point right here is where we have problems.  I’d much rather spend extra money on my favorite hobbies and collectibles and at the book store than buying myself clothes, or even going out to dinner on a date.  This is why most of my clothes are second-hand.  This is why, until I got married, all the socks I owned I found somewhere or someone bought them for me, and I never bought socks.  After learning this, Zach was horrified and bought me several pairs.

4.  Nerd shrines.  This isn’t an issue right now because we’re still setting up our house.  But so god help me, this will be an issue soon.  My LOTR action figures can’t stay in storage forever.

5.  Deep depression after a character or series ends.  I’m not just sad, I need to stay in bed and mourn for days.  This also applies to having to wait for a new season – see: Sherlock.

6.  All our vacations revolve/involve some sort of fandom.  The other night we watched A Midnight in Paris and I told him I really only cared about going to Pere Lachaise in Paris because a lot of the artists buried there completely influenced my own art.  Morbid, yes, but arguably sweet.  I also really want to visit the park named after Jamie Farr in Toledo.  I will go great lengths to see very mundane things, people!


So there you have it.  This list is not exhaustive though, but I don’t have hours to spend making a list with 300+ points.  In all seriousness, Zach generally has fun with (some of) this stuff, and he has his own things he is “geeky” about.

I just take it to an uncomfortable new level.


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