Stop Breathing

Earlier this week, I learned a new word.  It’s called misophonia, and it literally translates to “hatred of sound.”  You should click on the link to the wiki page, but I’ll give you a quick recap: it basically means that you feel intense anger when hearing certain sounds because of a neurological disorder in your brain.

Apparently, I have this problem.

I don’t like to self-diagnose myself on the internet, but when I brought this up to my husband, he strongly agreed with me.  I had previously just thought I had pet peeves.  I hate hearing people chew, clear their throats, breathe, or sit still somewhere really loudly.  I’ve yelled at Zach for eating cereal on countless occasions.  It’s gotten to the point where I try to eat at a different time than other people, or sometimes just playing music in the background can help.

When I was in film classes, I would sit by myself if I was able to, because the sounds of people breathing next to me made me want to scream.

And the biggest noise problem – when people (or even when I do this) scrape their plate with a utensil.  The sound actually hurts and I clench my jaw.  So if I look like I’m concentrating really hard on my food, it’s probably because I’m trying to figure out how to touch my plate in a minimal way.

I can’t help it.  But, learning this has kind of made me happy.  Now I know that Zach probably isn’t just really annoying (I’m kidding, kind of).  Luckily, there are certain sounds that are soothing to me.  The sound of someone typing, for one, makes my brain super happy and relaxed.

The other part that was mentioned in this article was synesthesia.  I had always thought it had to do with seeing colors when you heard certain words, but apparently it’s much broader than that.  I tend to see flashes of bright light with certain sounds.  For whatever reason, I’ve always thought this was normal.  Apparently, it can be related to synesthesia.

What will I do with this new found information?  Probably nothing.  I don’t even like talking to people about how I am allergic to gluten, because of the sneers or my favorite, “what do you EAT?” questions.  I’ve already got a lot I’m working against (but my extensive knowledge on hobbits isn’t one of them).

Anyway… I also wanted to mention that I think I’m going to keep going with creative writing posts on Tuesdays.  I actually had a lot of fun writing that alien love story.  My book is considerably more down-to-Earth (ie, there are no aliens) so it’s nice to be able to change up the pace with something rooted in fantasy, scifi, or maybe even do poetry every once in a while.  I got a request for some fanfic, but I’m not sure how I feel about that.  I wrote an Elijah Wood fanfic once for my best friend in high school to cheer her up, but that’s about the extent of my history with it (now, reading it is a whole ‘nother story…).


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