New Beginnings and Experiments

I like to look at life as just one big experiment.  Some things work, some don’t.  But you’ll never know which way it goes until you try it out.  This stresses a lot of people out (myself included), but I try to remember to be kind and forgiving to myself when I “fail.”  I will even feel guilty for starting something I think I’ll really like, and then quit doing it because I actually don’t like it at all.  This is exactly what happened with college.  I got a degree in something that I now know I want nothing to do with.  But I’m not sure if I would change anything.  We live in a society where, when you quit something (unless it’s cigarettes), you are frowned upon.  You’re a dirty quitter.  You’ll never amount to anything if you don’t stick it through.  Success comes with perseverance and hard work.  Failure is for the weak.

Meh.

I fail at things on a daily basis.  In fact, I failed miserably this morning.  Today is the first day of my cleanse, and my breakfast smoothie was a disgusting disaster.  I had been up late the night before prepping things, and woke up at 5am this morning for more prep so I could have time to walk the dogs.  Needless to say, I’m tired, cranky, and completely overwhelmed.  But, after I poured what looked like baby poop down the drain, I sat down at the kitchen table with a banana and chia seeds and made a new plan.  And not just for cleanse-friendly meals.  I had a little more clarity this morning.  I realized, I had way too much on my plate.

I think the reason I “fail” so much is because I try a lot of things.  I’m not afraid I won’t like it, won’t be good at it, etc.  If I ever feel like I’m being forced to do something, then I don’t feel right.  Granted, you should stick through things you DO like, even (and especially) when they get hard.  That’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about sticking with something that doesn’t click with you.

I feel like my entire life has changed more in the past 8 months than it has in the past 20.  Honestly.  I’m much more aware of the world, who I am, and what I want than I ever thought would be possible.  And the great thing is, it’s nothing what I expected.  And it’s awesome (usually).

So, I hope you were able to follow along on my tangent.  I can’t really tell if I’m making sense right now.  I need some carrots.

Until next time.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s