Friday Film Review: Heavy Metal

Photo from Fan Pop
Photo from Fan Pop

Oi.  What to say about Heavy Metal.  First off, I watched this because of its cult status.  I understand why it has a cult status, I just don’t understand the movie.  Perhaps, it was just that I wasn’t taking the right kind of drugs when I watched it…  And believe me, I don’t understand it NOT because I’m easily shocked or I haven’t seen weird films.  I’ve seen a lot.  But this film, I just did not get.

OK, so this is an animated movie, shot in multiple different animation styles (stop motion, drawing, rotoscoping, etc) and it’s broken down into several vignettes that are all connected by a green orb.  An EVIL green orb.  All while having a “thumping metal soundtrack.”  To be honest, at least half, if not more of the score was not metal, and almost the entire score of the last vignette was by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.

Oh yes, let’s just go ahead and talk about that one.  I’ll back track later.  The last vignette is the climax.  It focuses on our heroine, a very busty, mostly naked woman that doesn’t talk, spends a lot of time getting ready, and fights rapists.  OK, maybe that’s an over simplification, but that’s my interpretation.  Zach and I watched this together, and despite the copious amounts of animated nudity, he fell asleep during the final act.  It was too long.  I understand they had a fancy orchestra and they wanted to get their money’s worth, but it was TOO LONG.

Backtracking…

The film as a whole is about how evil this orb is.  I’m not exactly sure what it does, but it makes people chaotic, women get naked and sometimes zombies?  The timeline jumps around too, both past, present and future, with a little sci fi added (outerspace and other planets).  John Candy does a lot of voice acting too.  Think of this movie as a poetic, animated sci fi, in which all the animators loved drawing the same boobs over and over again.

I’m going to stop writing now, because actually writing this review is boring me.  There isn’t a lot of interesting things to this film. I feel like it’s something that would be playing in the background while people got high at a friend’s house.  BUT – people love it, for all it’s ridiculousness.  Maybe teenage boys would like it better than me.  But seriously, if you really are just wanting to watch animated boobs and sex, just go to PornHub.com.  Yeah, I just linked to Porn Hub.  What?  Don’t click unless you want to see penises right away.  You’ve been thoroughly warned.  In all seriousness, if you love the movie, that’s fine.  I’m not judging.  I understand.  It has a weird charm to it.  But I am not going to highly recommend this to others.

Favorite Line: “Sucker play or not, I must have turned her on somethin’ fierce. I mean, this dame was goin’ for broke. Maybe it was her first time with a New Yorker, I dunno. Anyway, nothing beats good old American know-how. And I was givin’ this broad the Stars And Stripes For Ever.” – cab driver.  I have no idea what he meant by “Star and Stripes” in regards to sex.  Someone please explain.

Favorite Scene:  Probably the one where the red-headed secretary has sex, and then begins a relationship, with the robot.  That was weird, but also oddly endearing.

Movie Stats:
Date: 1981
Director: Gerald Potterton
Length: 86 mins
Rating: R (for nudity, and lots of it!)

Currently streaming on Netflix.

Movie Night suggestions.

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